Posts
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Click on the ball.....
This is guaranteed to drive you nuts!!!!
If you should manage to click on the ball, it will change color.
I did get it to change many times over, but it took awhile.
Click on the link below and have fun !!!!!!!!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Incredible Story
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peters legs and slammed the idiot against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.........
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peters legs and slammed the idiot against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.........
PG humor
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAY AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.
THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE.'
THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'
'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'
HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'
'A WITCH ??. . . . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE. THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW...AND TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!!!'
Friday, August 15, 2008
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR....
If my body were a car,
This is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull .
But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it... --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!!!!!
This is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull .
But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it... --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!!!!!
Monday, August 11, 2008
And Still MORE Blonde Jokes
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist
for some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that,
they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.
Unphased, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'we don't have any.'
'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde.
'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.
'Yes,' said the blonde, 'I'll go home and get it.'
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks
at it and says to her, 'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container: To apply, push up bottom!
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist
for some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that,
they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.
Unphased, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'we don't have any.'
'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde.
'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.
'Yes,' said the blonde, 'I'll go home and get it.'
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks
at it and says to her, 'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container: To apply, push up bottom!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Blondapalooza
There were three blondes who wanted to cross a river.
So the first blonde asked God if he would make her smart enough to know how to swim and cross the river.
So God did.
The second blonde asked God to make her smart enough to build a raft and croos over the river.
So God did.
When the third blonde was about to ask God for her wish, God said, "I'm tired of you blondes and your dumb wishes." So he made the third blonde smart enough to see the bridge and cross over it.
ALTERNATE VERSION................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
A blonde dyed her hair jet black so that people would think she was smarter.
It seemed to work.
People treated her with more respect, and she even felt smarter.
To celebrate, she took a drive in the country.
She spotted a field full of sheep, and got out to take a look.
She found the farmer and said, "these things are so cute, and soft. What are they?"
"Uh, they're sheep, miss," he replied.
"If I can tell you how many sheep are in this field, can I have one?" she asked.
"OK," replied the farmer.
Feeling very smart, she looked around the field and proclaimed, "347."
"Exactly," exclaimed the farmer. "Help yourself."
She picked up an animal she liked and was walking back to her car when the farmer said, "Miss, if I can tell you what color your hair used to be, can I have my dog back?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. She politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disneyland. When they were about half way there, the blonde saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, "Is something wrong?"
"There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying "You've Got Mail."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde, a brunette and a red head found a magic mirror.
If you lie to the mirror you explode.If you tell the truth you survive.
The red head say's,"I think I am the prettiest girl in the world." BOOM!
The brunette say's,"I think I am the smartest girl in the world." BOOM!
The blonde say's,"I think..."BOOM!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A philosopher, a mathamatician and a blonde all go to hell.
The Devil makes them a deal. "If you can stump me, I will let you go to heaven."
The philosopher asks a philosophy question and the Devil snaps his fingers and a book appears and he reads the answer.
The mathamatician asks a math question and the Devil,again,simply snaps his fingers and a book appears and he abnswers the math question.
Then the blonde pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it and farts. She asks the Devil,"What hole did the fart come out of?" The Devil says,"That's easy, all of them." Then the blonde says,"No, it came out of the hole in my ass.. duh."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy", she yelled, "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to ten!"
"Very good", said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" asked the girl.
"Yes, it's because your blonde." replied her mother.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy", she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today and all the other kids said up to D. But I said to G!"
"Very good", said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" asked the girl.
"Yes it's because your blonde." replied her mother.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy Mommy!" she yelled, "we were in gym class today and we were showering. All the girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted up her shirt to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good." said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" asked the girl.
And the mother answered, "No, Honey...it's because you're 24."
So the first blonde asked God if he would make her smart enough to know how to swim and cross the river.
So God did.
The second blonde asked God to make her smart enough to build a raft and croos over the river.
So God did.
When the third blonde was about to ask God for her wish, God said, "I'm tired of you blondes and your dumb wishes." So he made the third blonde smart enough to see the bridge and cross over it.
ALTERNATE VERSION................
Three blondes were on a deserted island.
All of the sudden a genie popped out of the sand. The genie said, "I'll grant you each one wish."
The first blonde said, "Turn me into a boat, so i can sail to land."
The genie said "Poof", and she sailed to land.
The second blonde wished to be a plane so she could fly to land.
The genie said "Poof", and she flew to land.
The third blonde wished to be a brunette, and the genie said, "Poof" and she turned into a brunette. Then she walked over the bridge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
A blonde dyed her hair jet black so that people would think she was smarter.
It seemed to work.
People treated her with more respect, and she even felt smarter.
To celebrate, she took a drive in the country.
She spotted a field full of sheep, and got out to take a look.
She found the farmer and said, "these things are so cute, and soft. What are they?"
"Uh, they're sheep, miss," he replied.
"If I can tell you how many sheep are in this field, can I have one?" she asked.
"OK," replied the farmer.
Feeling very smart, she looked around the field and proclaimed, "347."
"Exactly," exclaimed the farmer. "Help yourself."
She picked up an animal she liked and was walking back to her car when the farmer said, "Miss, if I can tell you what color your hair used to be, can I have my dog back?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. She politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disneyland. When they were about half way there, the blonde saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, "Is something wrong?"
"There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying "You've Got Mail."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde, a brunette and a red head found a magic mirror.
If you lie to the mirror you explode.If you tell the truth you survive.
The red head say's,"I think I am the prettiest girl in the world." BOOM!
The brunette say's,"I think I am the smartest girl in the world." BOOM!
The blonde say's,"I think..."BOOM!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A philosopher, a mathamatician and a blonde all go to hell.
The Devil makes them a deal. "If you can stump me, I will let you go to heaven."
The philosopher asks a philosophy question and the Devil snaps his fingers and a book appears and he reads the answer.
The mathamatician asks a math question and the Devil,again,simply snaps his fingers and a book appears and he abnswers the math question.
Then the blonde pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it and farts. She asks the Devil,"What hole did the fart come out of?" The Devil says,"That's easy, all of them." Then the blonde says,"No, it came out of the hole in my ass.. duh."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy", she yelled, "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to ten!"
"Very good", said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" asked the girl.
"Yes, it's because your blonde." replied her mother.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy", she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today and all the other kids said up to D. But I said to G!"
"Very good", said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" asked the girl.
"Yes it's because your blonde." replied her mother.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy Mommy!" she yelled, "we were in gym class today and we were showering. All the girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted up her shirt to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good." said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" asked the girl.
And the mother answered, "No, Honey...it's because you're 24."
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Burial at Sea (Another Blonde Joke!)
Chrisy and Barbie, two blonde sisters, had promised their uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.
Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two kept their promise.
They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.
After a while Chrisy says, "Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?"
Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, "Nope, not yet Chrisy".
So... they row a little farther.
Again Chrisy asks Barbie, "Do you think we're out far enough now?"
Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest."
So...on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Chrisy is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath. "Well is it deep enough yet, Sis?''
"Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel."
Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two kept their promise.
They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.
After a while Chrisy says, "Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?"
Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, "Nope, not yet Chrisy".
So... they row a little farther.
Again Chrisy asks Barbie, "Do you think we're out far enough now?"
Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest."
So...on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Chrisy is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath. "Well is it deep enough yet, Sis?''
"Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel."
Test for Dementia
Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question.
You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
First Question: Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic!
Note: This must be done in your head only .Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it..
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 Now add 10 .
What is the total?
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe.
Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana,
2. Nene,
3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary!
Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
He just has to open his mouth and ask....
It's really very simple..
Like you!
You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
First Question: Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic!
Note: This must be done in your head only .Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it..
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 Now add 10 .
What is the total?
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe.
Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana,
2. Nene,
3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary!
Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
He just has to open his mouth and ask....
It's really very simple..
Like you!
Kitty Litter Cake
Serving Size: 24Notes:This is a fun cake! It might look gross, but it does taste good!
Ingredients:
1 (18 oz.) box spice or german chocolate cake mix
1 (18 oz.) box white cake mix
1 pkg. white sandwich cookies
1 large box vanilla instant pudding mix
12 small tootsie rolls
1 litter box (preferably a NEW one!)
1 plastic scoop
green food coloring
Preparation:
Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions (any size pans).
Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble.
Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in blender, they tend to stick, so scrape often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup cookie crumbs, add a few drops green food coloring and mix using a fork or shake in a jar.
When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining white cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding.
You probably won’t need all of the pudding, mix with the cake and “feel” it, you don’t want it soggy, just moist; gently combine.
Put mixture into clean litter box.
Put three unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat with 3 more Tootsie rolls and bury in mixture.
Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly over the top, this is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter.
Heat remaining Tootsie Rolls, three at a time in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with cookie crumbs.
Place the box on a newspaper and sprinkle a few of the cookie crumbs around. Serve with a new pooper scooper.
Tips For A Better Life
1.)Brush twice a day!
2.)Dress right for the weather.
3.)Visit the dentist regularly.
4.)Get plenty of rest.
5.)Make sure your hair is dry before going outside. 
6.)Eat right.
7.)Get outside in the sun every once in a while.
8.)Always wear a seatbelt. 
9.)Control your drinking of alcoholic beverages.
10.)Smile! It will make you feel better.
11.)Don't over indulge yourself.
12.)Bathe regularly.
13.)Read to exercise the brain.
14.)Surround yourself with friends.
15.)Stay away from too much caffeine.
16.)Use the bathroom regularly.
17.)Get plenty of exercise.
18.)Have your eyes checked regularly.
19.)Eat plenty of vegetables.
20.)Believe that people will like you for who you are.
21.)Forgive and forget.
22.)Take plenty of vacations.
23.)Celebrate all special occasions.
24.) Pick up a hobby.
25.)Love your neighbor as yourself.
Do all these things and you will be a happier, healthier person.
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