Female to Male/Male to Female English dictionary

FINE: Fem> This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Male> This is the word used to answer any question asked by a woman while being distracted by a ball game or anything else requiring our 100% attention. This answer often leads to regrettable promises made, that we later have no memory of.

FIVE MINUTES: FEM>If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Male>5 minutes can mean under five minutes (if we're in a rare especially helpful mood-like being rewarded with sexual favors as soon as it's done). Otherwise, 5 minutes is an indeterminate time period that is ALWAYS longer than 5 minutes and may last years-depending on how soon we're offered sexual favors. Then it's immediately.

NOTHING: Fem>This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
Male>The translation of this word MUST be determined by the accompaning facial expression. If followed by a expressionless, glossy eyed appearance, this TRUELY means Nothing. We are happily in LaLa-land with no cohesive pattern of thought!
If followed by a look of guilt and nervousness: we just bought something silly, rediculous and expensive that you'd NEVER approve of; we just ran over your favorite pet or we just finished looking at one of those internet sites, that you'd NEVER approve of. A guilty "Nothing" is ALWAYS Something!

GO AHEAD: Fem>This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
Male>This is a submissive response, knowing that any other answer may result in the loss of reproductive organs. Even when said in anger, this still can result in the loss of reproductive organs. You've got us by the balls either way.

LOUD SIGH: Fem>This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
Male> A "Loud Sigh" means you know she knows you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" when you could be having sex instead.

THAT'S OKAY: Fem>This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Male>One of the most dangerous statements that a man can make to a woman. You'll forgive whatever she's done to you, BUT you are expected to perform a session of hot & heavy make up sex, the length and acts are determined by the seriousness of the transgressions.

THANKS: Fem> A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Male>When can we have sex again? If we haven't had it yet, when can we start?

WHATEVER: Fem> It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!
Male> Not common to the male dialogue. Usually used such as "Please forgive me for whatever I've done." meaning "I've got no clue as to why you're upset, but when can we have sex again?"
When a man wants to say "*!#@ YOU!", he says *!#@YOU, BEECH!