And Still MORE Blonde Jokes

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'






'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist

for some rectum deodorant.



The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that,

they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.



Unphased, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the

stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.



'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'we don't have any.'



'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde.



'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.



'Yes,' said the blonde, 'I'll go home and get it.'



She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks

at it and says to her, 'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'



Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from

the container: To apply, push up bottom!